i need a hug from u!!!m panicking!!pls cheer me up!

3 days later, i wil come back sg. dunno y?i have lived in sg 1 year alr...came back home so many time but never got the time i panic like now!!
this week, i cry every night...count every day n wish time can stop going!!
-It is different feeling from the first time, even the first time i came to sg, i also dun panic like now
coming home, i become who i am,live w my real life,do like i did 19 years..n my smile is real...
-i wanna forget everything happened in sg so that i can so proud when my parents, my grandma, my relatives say abt me w all their proud:"see, Ngoc, wow, u grew up alr, can study oversea, can be independent, u r so good"....m really good???sorry....m not
-here, i got everything, and in sg, what do i hv?????sometimes, i thought that if i got a serious sickness or sth like that, maybe my dad wil let me stay in vn hahaha..m crazy alr!!!@-@
-m not scared coz of next term i got 5 exams...wat do i scare???just only u no..
-m scared coz m not independent, i wil do stupid things if m alone..if my mom was there, i never do it...leave out my family's care..i become crazy haha
-mom, dad....now after 1 year study a broad, i really that i coundnt do things like u thought i did...bt i dun wanna correct ut thinking...dun wanna make u disapointing!n i swear i never make u disapointing until i die!
-ok, need to be calm haha..i still got JIn, Ha, Tuan n you....u dun like Jin, Ha, Tuan... they always understand me, help me when i need,the only one thing u can do is to see m crying haha...no one sees m crying in sg except u!bt u never understand me, and u never try it!
@Jin:Cheer me up, Jin haha..ur friend is crazy now
@you:y u dun try to cheer me up, help me overcome it one time.....